When 'progressive' becomes a bad word..

For the past year or so, I have been interacting with some people with whom I do not really share the same wavelength... we have probably been exposed to different cultures, different people and different experiences, therefore we differ in our outlook towards life, esp with respect to relationships with people..

I've spent a major part of my school days in a boarding school, co-ed at that, and that’s gone to shape a lot of the person who I am today... one is exposed to so many different types of situations, a variety of cultures, a mix of good and bad people, and that makes it a good learning ground for tolerance and understanding.. I don't claim that its the best option for education, but its got many advantages that I realise more now than I did back then!

So given this background, and the fact that I come from a culturally 'broad-minded' family, I grew up with the impression that being 'progressive' in one's outlook is a good thing.. I took it for granted that if you have a mother who is independent and strong-willed and can 'manage' things without being dependent on her husband, its a good thing.. I thought it was good that my father didn't frown at my guy-friends (that’s not a word, but anyways!!) and didn't stop me from going out and having a nice time (within boundaries of course!), that my parents didn't keep a tab on me 24 hrs of the day, and that they of course encouraged me to be financially independent and take my career seriously! These are things that most of us take for granted, if we are blessed with such understanding parents!

And the same goes for my friendships with guys.. when you've literally grown-up with guys all around you, u stop treating them as 'guys' and they become more of 'friends', and gender doesn't matter so much (in fact many a times I find it easier to relate to guys than girls, but that's another story).. one can and does forge genuine friendships with the opposite sex (lest a certain friend of mine claims this is another sexist post!), which are not based on 'love' or 'attraction' etc.. they are just plain platonic relationships, and anyone who has a problem with that is usually asked to gth.. so when a real good friend gives u a hug when you are sad/happy, its not to 'make sparks fly'!!

But some people just don't get that.. they don't understand that men and women can have genuinely good friendships.. they don't understand that just coz you danced with a guy doesn't mean you are 'easy', as long as you have kept him at arm's length! When they see a snap where ur friend has his arms around your shoulders, they can't fathom that you are not interested in each other.. if you deny any romantic involvement, they think that you are too progressive and 'let anyone take liberties with you', which is the most false claim ever! Then they look at you up and down and go "tsk tsk, this girl"... and THAT'S when you realise that for many people even today, in this day and age, such seemingly normal things are 'too open', and girls who have seen the inside of a disc, or have had a drink or two, or are ok with going to Goa with a bunch of guys (and girls, but that's not important apparently!) are 'too modern'.. and then they nod and say "iski to shaadi nahin hogi"!

To all these people, I say "grow up" and stop being such a 'punju aunty'!! If it's just me who thinks that men and women can have platonic relationships, and am too naive (yes yes I know that apparently all men have only one thing on their minds) then that’s fine with me.. my friends haven't proven me wrong, yet... if that’s too 'liberal' then what the heck, that’s how I am..

And to myself, most importantly, I say I really really need to stop interacting with these people, else I'll find my head being screwed with these narrow-minded, 18th century thoughts!! 'Progressive' is not a bad word in my dictionary (though I don't mean as "progressive" as the Page3 society either!)!