Life's various hues...

I've been holidaying... that's why the brief hiatus from blogosphere.. I've been out of touch with people, my blog and reality.. I've been lying in the shade, basking in the sunlight, trekking (panting on the way uphill actually!), listening to romantic songs one the drive along the long-winding road that led to my destination.. been relaxing with a book on the balcony, been massaging my sore feet after miles of walking, been admiring the hills and the valleys, the fact that there seem to be more trees around since the last time I visited, been taking a shot at driving on the highway at 100 km/hr! been enriching myself with the shades of life, trying to capture interesting and beautiful things on my camera, hoping that the memories will not fade too soon...

And I've been doing a lot of thinking.. about where I stand today, what I want from life, who I am and whether I am comfortable with that, what I should change, who I want in my life, whether or not I enjoy the reckless things I do or whether I do them to prove something to myself.. why I say the things I say and do the things I do, why I made the choices I did.. what should be my next step... are my decisions my own or am I trying to please someone else.. and whether my friend's wedding on Friday made me think "another one bites the dust" or "wow, she's lucky!", which would answer my own questions.. self-evaluation, introspection, taking a pause from life to discover its flavours and where it's taking me...

After coming back to Delhi finding myself a little lost.. for a while.. I can't switch back to reality and the usual activites so fast.. I take a day or two to come back to earth, so to speak.. but there are so many small things that I've brought back with myself from these past 4 or 5 days.. like the fact that the roads in Haryana seemed better than the roads in Punjab, atleast where I was! also that I should be spending more quality time with my loved ones, and not just checking with them about the weather.. realising that there are some things that you just can't change about yourself or the other person.. realising that you've lost the stamina you once had and now it's all downhill from here.. realising that it feels great when people notice your efforts and actually say something to you about it.. realising that I prefer sms's to calls since they are so unobstrusive (you can reply in your own sweet time and it doesn't look rude, but if you don't want to talk right then and someone calls, you can't hang up without sounding like an arrogant vamp!).. realising that there are actually very very very few people in this world whom I can't live without.. realising that someone's behaving like a jerk and I am above that... realising that black and white photographs have more character than coloured ones... realising that if I let myself go, I'll only get hurt and so it's ok to be a control freak about myself... realising that I am addicted to dance and if I don't do some or the other form of dance throughout my life, I'll wither and die pretty soon..

Little bit pensive, little bit defensive, strange mood today (it's probably attributable to the really bad cold I have!!) But there's one song stuck in my head since that drive on the hills, in perfect weather, sunrays filtered through the trees, bright and sunny now, dark and shade later, winding road, wind on my face..

O saathi re, din dube na..
Aa chal din ko roke,
dhup ke peeche daudien,
Chaanv chhoole na..
- Omkara, 2006

P.S: I'd have uploaded some snaps too, but somehow the 'Add Image' thing never works on my comp and I can't add any photographs to my posts! :-(