"Are you married, single, divorced, widowed?"
"Single"
"Are you pregnant?"
"Ummm... no..." (With the Indian upbringing, I'm still wondering why the question is being asked.. I'm SINGLE, psycho!)
"Are you trying to get pregnant?"
"Hell no!" (Eyes popping out at the horrifying suggestion)
"Ok, don't get pregnant in the next 6 months"
"I don't foresee the danger of that happening" (Goodness, stop already!)
-- Thats my conversation with the new doctor I went to visit last week. I was thinking the whole time "I have an earache for God's sake, what does this have to do with my being pregnant?!!".. Its an American thing, I noticed, that even if you say you're not married, they ask you pregnancy related questions... ofcourse you can't take anything for granted here.. in India, you went for a blood test, they asked "Are you married?" You said "No", and they peacefully moved on, avoiding any questions relating to marital status.. comfortable... answering 20 times whether you're pregnant or expecting to be pregnant is hell of a lot more awkward than I could imagine!
Other laughable situations this week included spelling out my name for the girl at the counter at Blockbuster videos... I said "Its spelt as Are You See Etch Aye Kay A" and she's like "ruc-what?" "Etch" "What?" and she looks at me like I'm some non-english speaking illegal immigrant from a 3rd world country where they don't teach how to pronounce H correctly. My cousin pitches in, she goes "Aetch" "Oooohh.. you mean H"!!! Yeah, you dim-witted moron, H... you should be glad I wasn't saying "hetch"!
But accent I realise is a matter of habit.. If you don't pronounce words the way they're used to listening to it, the above situation repeats itself everywhere.... so you have to end up rolling your r's, "Do I have the time? Oh yes, its eight-turrrty"... Pretty soon you're talking to your parents with the same rolling rs... damn. Well, atleast I haven't pronounced fast as fayst yet, so I'm glad.
Anyways, in other significant little achievements (which I've told you I will start celebrating), I've declared myself a "sober chocaholic" :) I can now look at a rich dark chocolate brownie with hot melting chocolate sauce poured over it - without devouring it the next second. Its an attempt to get my ever increasing mid-riff in control! Cheers to that!
Also this week, I finally watched 'Serendipity' in an attempt to find out what everyone is so ga-ga about! I had tried to watch is once before, but had to shut it off within 15 mins, disgusted as I was with all the mushiness (it didn't help that I had a broken-heart to mend at that time)... This time, with renewed enthusiasm, and since my heart is now in perfectly good shape, I watched it, and managed to see it to the end. But, I still don't know whats so great about the movie! Its not exactly the Dr. Zhivago or Gone with the wind of romance, and its based on such a silly idea. And worst is, many of us are trying to find our own 'serendipity' in our own little worlds, thinking someone somewhere is "made for us".. Like an SRK-Kajol movie, complete with gazing at the clouds and imagining soulmates... Jeez!
And the song thats been stuck in my head the past 3 days - "Pom pom pom pom pump up the jam!" (--Partner, 2007) Hahaha! Its too funny! :))
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37 comments:
Are you trying to get pregnant?"
what is that suppose to mean !!!! are u sure he was not hitting on you , yankees are crazy, :)
Don't get pregnant in the next 6 months ?????????????
Why ????
Cos you may pass on the earache to the baby ??????????????
And this H confusion is still lots better than the WO WO Yem .. remember??? Trivandrum ...OOM .
yankees are pretty one-dimensionsl with respect to accent skills...we can not only speak good English but also converse with native speakers in their very accents and fool them (not any more, i guess) into believeing that we're Sam, Tom, Marc, etc., they can't pick the accent of someone who doesn't roll the r's hard enough...
and there's no reason for any fluent-in-English self-respecting Indian to take any of that third-world shit...
i'm very amused by the way they pronounce aaaperthooonittie..hahaha
Why should you not get pregnant in the next six months? :S
These docs! They are crazy I must say. Dont listen to 'em! Go ahead, get pregnant!
`ir
hehehe... naah, i doubt that he was hitting on me.. even the nurse asked me the same question thrice! its just an obsession with pregnancy :)
`s
oh yeah, def better than getting the whole name wrong!
btw, just for clarification, and i did ask the doctor what was the connection of earache with pregnancy - its because the med he was prescribing to me was very strong and so could have repurcussions on the child, IF i was getting pregnant! :))
`satyajit
oh yeah! totally agreed, esp people at counters etc, they're really dumb when it comes to anything thats not american! but ofcourse people in offices etc are fine, they dont hyperventilate at the Hs or Rs! :))
did u say opportunity?! :)
`apoo
hehehe... thanks, i'll rather not take this advice! :))
hmmm.... pregnancy to nahin but other problems that you mentioned are staring at me too
dekhte hain how do i deal with them
awesome post ruchi!!! i laughed out loud in the middle of the night
i happen to be the types who liked serendipity a LOT! i saw it on campus...how come u didnt catch it then?
ha ha...Ruchi...I wish I could have been there to see your face. I so clearly remember you telling me about Serendipity on campus and about how you hated it...I saw it on TV a while back...not bad...but yep there 100 better chick flicks that are available out there...Nottinghill is one of my favourites.
hmmm - i find it particularly irritating that people here don't understand what i say. i absolutely refuse to adopt an american accent - so they can just lump it. the worst is at starbucks when they want to know my name. i have finally given up and started telling them my name is jeremy (in honour of the pearl jam song). this worked for a while. but now they ask "oh, is that your real name? no? so what is your real name? oh, and how do you spell that?".
BAH!
`adarsh
:) yes yes, we'll love to hear about your adventures with your name getting twisted, and having problems buying stuff at the grocery store! Its very normal! :))
`zee
thats an achievement! :)) Oh and I didnt watch it in campus coz I had tried watching it once before and completely hated it!
`chaits
yeah! notting hill is so much more better, even though its about bumping into a filmstar abruptly one day! :))) i didnt think serendipity was as bad as i thought it was, but still, nothing great...
`ganju
haha! i know man, its quite irritating with the names etc.. although my name is very easy and 95% of the people have got it right, except this particular moron.
I used to encounter the same skepticism with American doctors before. When I had to take meds that forbade me to get pregnant whilst taking it, the doctor insisted that I take birth control pills. When I politely declined, I saw her eyes pop out of its sockets and indignantly said "But you must not get pregnant." To which I said, yes, I know, I heard you the first time. Then it dawned on her that I wasn't American :P I honestly dunno what took her a while when she had my records all along...
Lol!!..nice one...especially the scene where you spell your name..
but then I have heard half the docs in Yankee land are indians..Do they behave the same..
Reminds me of the day when I came to germany and most folks where saying.."aahsoo" which means "OKAY"..but I mistook it for a swear word and was ekdum bewildered at why they were calling me that!!
i dont know why always indian women (yes esp women) end up with such a connotation when its abt marriage, pregnancy etc...we all speak indians have rich culture..come on man..giv me a break...each one hav their culture...nothing can be blamed and nothing can claim superiority over the other...well in my case when i went for social security number, the questions asked were
1. R u married...
2. if not how many children u hav...
in the same order...i never felt anything wrong in tht...bcos this is their culture...
may be why not to get pregnant for next 6 months...oops i dont hav any idea!
No offense..rest is fine :-)
`princess banter
yeah, thats good that she atleast realised u're not american and so probably the usual rules dont apply to you!
` mathew
indian doctors here also ask the same question, but always begin with saying "listen, i know this may not apply, but we have to do this the american way, according to the forms"... and then starts to ask all the questions... its a rule here apparently, so i guess that has to be respected! :)
`arun
i get what u're trying to say, but my question is this: when i've indicated that i'm not going to get pregnant, why keep on emphasizing the point? I mean, I get it! Secondly, why do Indians always have to be the ones adjusting to others cultures? Why dont they adjust to ours, do some homework about other cultures and then start the questioning? dont tell me its becoz we're in America, coz if they came to India, we'd be as accomodating (read doormats), we'll be like, oh its their culture... again, no offense, essentially i agree with what u're saying :)
Our society has completly changed in the last twenty years. It didn't used to be okay to get pregnant without being married, and if you did....you damn well better get married.
My husband is an immigrant. However, he is from a 3rd world country. He is from Mexico and now that the whole immigration thing is going on, its hard for us. No-one has been mean to us but it is hard to listen to what people are saying in editorials and on the news etc... His sister is shocked by Americans sometimes. Personally, I think she is being self-righteous, the people in her country do some pretty wierd things sometimes, for instance the way they treat their sons so well and expect their sisters to wait on them. My husbands family is not like that, but I have seen this. But I would never say anything about it.
I work in a hospital and one of the things that I can tell you is that Doctors here are very afraid of being sued for medical malpractice. I take it you are getting some sort of treatment that would cause severe birth defects. He is afraid of being sued.
I just read last night that chocolate cravings may come from a magnesium deficiency. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Oh wait, I just remembered that you had an ear infection. well anyway, they are very afraid of being sued. Where I live Doctors have been sued so much that a lot of them left and moved someplace else. Then they passed a bill that makes it harder to sue. It wasn't because the doctors were bad doctors. It was because people want a way to get rich, they figure the Dr. has insurance and they might make some money. Pathetic huh!
Oh accents. Everytime my husband speaks, the people in stores look at me and I have to tell them what he said. And I think that his English is great and I never thought he was hard to understand, even when I first met him. He does speak softly however.
but u know there need to be lot consider to discuss upon this and any of its variant...sure will pen down collectively...but again i don't want to end up posting yet another serious/sensitive issue...but well if u need will do it :-)
"may be why not to get pregnant for next 6 months...oops i dont hav any idea!"
hop behind the blue eyes hav answered...well even i thought of digging a bit tht time...but went out and then forget totally...but did u asked the doctor why he/she insisted/emphasized so much on the pregnancy issue?..if not then i think .............................................................
Just reading that description of chocolate makes me want chocolate.
You know what is irritating? People who have never moved out of their own little city (forget the country!), and put on the fake accent by wrongly rolling the Rs because they think that is hip! For god's sake! Get a life!
** have an earache for God's sake, what does this have to do with my being pregnant?!!"..
LOL!
well its the same here. I went to the doc once cos I had a throat irritation n he asked if I was pregnant! grrrrrrrrrr! wut does he think I am?
Keshi.
Well....
When in Rome....[eh?]
And explain..."Don't get pregnant in the next six months".... :D [scratching head!]
U shouldn't get pregnant in the next 6 months bcoz the drugs given for earache have teratogenic property...they affect ur fetus if u intake them during pregnancy...thats the reason behind it!!:)
P.s..I am medico:) but an Indian...not the western type...
trying to get pregnant...will take some time but single and pregnant will soon be int question list of indian doctors too. soon.
i've wondered about that crappier-than-karanjohar's movie too. gimme a break, this is the time when you aren't sure about the relationship you've been in for years!
Must be seriously powerful medicine to create potential side-effects for 6 months!
lolz.. i didn't knew you are plannin for...you broke ma heart!!
just came across your blog...
i absolutely burst out laughing at the way you've explained the pronunciation conundrum...LOL
-Rama.
`behind blue eyes
thanks for stopping by my blog, and writing a nice long comment! yes, i do understand that the doctor is taking these precautions because he doesnt want to get sued, in case the patient comes back saying u didnt tell me... this was just funny for me, thats all... we're not used to so much questioning of our child-bearing plans! :)) and I think chocolate cravings also indicate PMS! :)) btw, i usually have no trouble with people understanding what i'm saying, except this one-off case sometimes, which makes me laugh!
`arun
i'm not sure what u're thinking, but like i said, i understand why the doctor was being so particular.. coz the medicine he was going to prescribe was very strong and could lead to birth defects, and like bbe said, he was afraid of being sued.. so thats ok.. it was just a funny incident, thats all i guess.. i dont hold anything against him, but it was a funny and awkward situation!
`thethinker
i'm thinking - i'll take that as a compliment! :))
`rebel
oh yeah totally.. like that joke when someone acquired an accent because she flew over America! :)) Haha! :)
`Keshi
yeah, i guess its the same story in the western countries, and will pretty soon be in india too, like nithya says.. the point to note is that ofcourse they dont mean anything personal, they just take everyone under the same blanket!
`bullshee
so when in US, get pregnant?! :) haha... never mind about 6 months.. sideeffects of the medicine could cause birth defects in case i have a kid in the next 6 months... which is what i was trying to tell the doctor wont happen! :))
`jeya anand
yes sir! right on spot! i asked the doctor ofcourse and thats what he said :))
`nithya
glad u brought up the movie topic! yes, i mean how can u be so unsure of your life, on a crazy whim, that u are ready to leave your fiance at the altar?! goodness, this shows fickleness of mind, not finding soulmates... bet if they made a sequel, the couple would have separated by then! :))
`mahogany
oh yeah, there are many medicines like that :)
`invincible
hehehe... i'm not planning to, and it wont happen accidentally either, coz this isnt a honey and bees story!! :)
`rama
thanks, it was a ridiculous situation, esp coz its such an easy name actually! nice blog u have btw, though i havent completed reading your entire travelogue about the Keys...
"3rd world"???
You use that term yourself and then complain about people?
`burf
Acutally that was supposed to imply Mexico, but just like the misconception about India, Mexico isn't poor and third world either... In any case, an Indian calling his/her own country (which they love very much and are proud of) "3rd world" light-heartedly is very different from an "outsider" calling it!
Yeah, the pregancy questions always crack me up. I'm pretty sure my doctor is now just asking me to be polite since everytime I go in there we discuss my single status. Oh, and Serendipty was made fantastic only by John Cusack. I would watch do anything.
hey there,
thanks for stopping by on my blog. actually i havent completed it yet...will do so soon...
keep coming back. :-)
-Rama
liked ur writes as always..
:)
`brandy
haha! maybe ur doc is actually hitting on u! (like ir suggested on my comment space!).. yes i agree john cusack makes the move bearable! i had quite a crush on him through it! :))
`rama
will read it soon!
`indrs angels
thanks again, as always! :)
hows ur ear??
And... serendipity YUCK!! i always feel .. John Cusaks fiancee looks way better than Kate Beckinsale.. and if its not abt the looks .. wat crap did he find in 5 mins.. so GRRR....
Pregnancy..hmmmm.. i hav to ponder abt that one.. and sorry for reading this one late.. :-)
and i liked apoo comment.. heheh
amazing read :)......and i like the overall positivity in the post ..... Keep going like this,,,
Lol! Hilarious!
Great place you have here... do dentists give you such a tough time too? ;)
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