A constant dialogue within myself...
They say I think too much.. perhaps I do.. I have this constant dialogue going on inside my head - sometimes with my alter ego, sometimes with what we call the 'higher power' (don't say I am cuckoo!), sometimes (most of the times) with my Guru.. a constant parallel thinking.. This sometimes results in my having this 'dumb' expression on my face, like I can't understand what the other person is saying.. but in reality, I am thinking much beyond the exact words being spoken- am reading inbetween the lines, or probing the probabilities, the consequences.. or sometimes just that I don't like this person's face! I sometimes see myself from the outside, looking at myself, my expression, my appearance, and wonder about what I am doing! And ofcourse, I always keep thinking of what would have happened if I had made the other choice, taken the alternative decision etc etc..
I also find myself singing in my head (well, thankfully for others, I don't sing aloud!)... a song that relates to the current situation, person or moment, in some way or the other.. Funny thing happened yesterday though.. I recently started getting off my fat ass and exercising, in order to regain the 'good' figure I once used to have! So, within a week of this metamorphosis (I haven't exercised to keep fit ever in my life! I never had to make an effort to be fit - I guess due to school being on 250 acres of land and much place to burn the calories)..
Anyways, so a week into this, I decide to check my weight and also my slightly older clothes to see if there is any hope for me.. and I find that I really am just that little bit slimmer!! I check again, my clothes are fitting me without having to suck my breath in! AAAH!! What joy!! I blew my triumphant trumpet to all and sundry!
And then this song suddenly pops into my head - 'Illusion... its just an illusion, in all this confusion'..
:-)) Oops!! I really wonder why! Hehehehe..
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8 comments:
living life the calculated way - thats what i gather from ur first para on the blog :) - its awesome to be thinking btw, otherwise why the hell was the brain reqd :d - people tell that to me to and i reply with - "well, looks like u dont utilize urs, now please let me..." he he
take care btw, dont go a lot too slim warna log pehchanna band kar denge..
I know what you mean about the dialogue inside your head - I do the same thing all the time. It's great, yeah, cause your mind's always working, but doesn't it get a little harrowing some times? I mean, theres so much that I wind up not doing for the simple reason that I've psyched myself about what will/might happen - and as it usually turns out, I'm the one who lost out, since it wasn't such a big deal anyway.
'I sometimes drink to forget, but the problem with that is that sometimes, you forget to forget.'
Not sure where I read that, but it stuck, for some reason...
@prasoon... don't worry, I have a loooong way to go before I am slim enough to not be recognised! Hehehehe.. I like ur answer to the thinking too much statement.. I never thought of it that way!
@i r baboon... yeah, sometimes I get a headache thinking too much! And human habit is that we think of negative things first, so we tend to waste too much time thinking of how many things will go wrong, when as u said, it wasn't such a big deal really!
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost
I know exactly wht you mean by the dialogue... particularly when I am in the state of flux that I am in...wondering what if i had made the other choice...
as for your slimming...so dress up for the dinner tonight..;)
@lifeasithappens
So nice to be so un-complicated..
@candid diary
To never wonder if the road you took was the right one, is a blessing..
@vestige
Aah, so ur'e back! Bhelcome! I see ur new job isn't keeping u all that busy either! Hehehe..
P.S: I am always nicely dressed up for dinner, with or without the figure! :-)
ya i have that dialogue in my head too ..am constantly analyzing everything there is to analyze and confuse myself to the point of no return.
And the 250 acre campus helped then but when i went to visit i was proud of the younger me coz i got so tired. sign!
Y?..
Yup, those were the days when we didn't need to do much to keep fit and have good stamina! I rem the time when I could do more than 2 hrs of folki and then when I went to visit, I got tired in half an hr! Hmmm.. sign is right!
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