Let me start with a little side observation which has nothing to do with the post coming up - have you ever woken up in the morning and felt like you just lived an entirely different life in your dreams which felt so real that you can't believe you're still in the same place after waking up?! My dreams are so vivid that sometimes I can't believe they didn't happen! My imagination conjures up images which seem so close to reality that I feel like I'm actually living in my dream.. Ofcourse I'm not talking about scary dreams like running behind a train and missing it, or snake dreams or dreams when you think you're running but you're still in the same place.. these "dreams" every one knows are not real - they are manisfestations of some fear or desire we have in our sub-conscious mind..
But the dreams I'm talking about are for example about meeting people, being with people, doing stuff together.. It's like living a life with them and then suddenly snapping out of it.
Long time back, when I was in school, I remember I was waiting for a letter (those were the days there was no internet.. I'm talking '94 guys!) from a friend (the guy that I met when I was 14!)... I remember rushing back from lunch to check if I have mail.. I didn't... I went to sleep for a while, next thing I know, I had come back from lunch, there was mail for me, and I read he whole damn letter!! I read word for word what he had written, and happy, I went for classes... and then woke up... it was too weird! I was looking around for the letter on my bed but couldn't find one... That left me very dazed! Ofcourse next day the letter came, and it didn't have anything in it that I had dreamt of the previous day, so I was assured that atleast I'm not weirdly clairvoyant or psychic, just weird!
Last night, I dreamt about meeting my really old friend who I had lost touch with (I'm sure this is because I read Nutty's latest post just before sleeping!!), and I could picture her so clearly, I even had a mental idea of what her kid looked like even though I haven't seen my friend in 4 years now! When I woke up, I was like - Didn't I just meet her?!
Sometimes I wonder which one is the "real" reality... what if the life we dream of when we're sleeping is the real one, and the one we think we're living is a dream?! What if you had another family somewhere in the universe, another job (which was more satisfied and paid more!), different friends, a separate life?
I guess I'm watching too many movies.. Which reminds me to come to the point of my post.. We have a new surround sound stereo system at home (my aunt's place, and I had no contribution in this), and they've redone their family room to make it very home theatre like.. so we've been watching movies every single evening the whole of this week... The one movie that struck me the most was Deja Vu... I'm totally fascinated by the bending time, meeting of the past and present, parallel futures concept! I mean, imagine if you could go back in the past, change the course of some events and have a different present? Or have 2 presents running parallely together? Which ties back to what I was saying earlier in the post - what IF your dreams are the different "present" and your life when you're awake is the "other" present?
Right. I get your point. I need rest. But remember, this is a Saturday morning and I did wake up early again, though it was 8 this time! So... I've got nothing better to do right now other than thinking about time travel!
Showing posts with label Dreaming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreaming. Show all posts
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
The rest is still unwritten...
So it's that time of the year again when one has to take stock of what one has achieved in the year that has just flown by, and what one wants to do with the coming year... I was looking at my New Year post written on the same day last year, and am afraid of repeating myself! However, I shall conitnue for the sake of tradition...
Last year I thought I had everything figured out, I thought I knew what was going to happen almost on a month by month basis! And although I'm not usually clairvoyant (yes, sometimes I am, but that's another story), but a lot of it came pretty much true! Of course, there's always surprises, there's always hope and sometimes hopelessness, and that's what keeps up the spice in life...
But 2008 - I have no idea what it holds for me! I can't predict this year because there's no history... It's scary because of the uncertainty... it's like stepping into the dark in an unfamiliar house.. you're on your own, nothing to go by... so many possibilities and yet you don't know which one will work and which won't work... life seems like it's on an Improbability Drive, you don't know where you're going to land up finally!
And yet, I feel positive about it, or at least make myself believe that I do.. because you are what your thoughts are.
I feel inclined to do whatever I can to make the best of the times and not let years go passing by without a sense of fulfillment. And though I don't believe in New Year resolutions, I do believe that a fresh start at the beginning of the year can give you perspective (and here I've failed already, because the start of this year was anything but "fresh" for me!! Too much partying and then sleeping at 6 in the morning doesn't seem like such a good idea now)...
[I'm irritated though that my birthday and the new year come so close by.. this whole reminiscing and taking stock thing is too much pressure so close together in the year!]
And I do know that I want to do the following things for sure this year. And hopefully this published post will remind me of my own promises and kick me into action whenever I forget.
- Learn another new language, maybe Spanish this time, so that I can choose whichever option I want when calling customer service!
- Get back to singing (outside the bathroom)... oh yes, though none of you will fortunately be subjected to this torture, I plan to get back to singing... so many hours shall be spent re-discovering Sa Re Ga Ma Pa.
- Graduate from the bunny slope and be able to ski at the next level.
- Stop wearing shades of black, grey, white and brown most of the time (and for all you men out there, different shades of white DO exist!!)
- Give more time to myself instead of my job, laptop and sleep.
- Learn how to say no (because saying no to someone you don't like/isn't your friend doesn't count as much as saying no to someone you do like/is your friend)
- Travel to another new country.. ok now this is stretching it. But then maybe not.
- Somehow, just somehow be able to convey to my family how much I love them and am grateful for all they've done and sacrificed for me. And always be there for them the way they've been there for me.
- Stop crying in every emotional scene I see in a movie (recently I cried myself silly watching Taare Zameen Par - brilliant movie though!!)
Ok, I think I need to stop before I spill over to 2009!!
So, on this positive note, I'm ready to take on what 2008 holds for me, and hopefully find what I've been searching for!
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten...
-- Natasha Bedingfield
Last year I thought I had everything figured out, I thought I knew what was going to happen almost on a month by month basis! And although I'm not usually clairvoyant (yes, sometimes I am, but that's another story), but a lot of it came pretty much true! Of course, there's always surprises, there's always hope and sometimes hopelessness, and that's what keeps up the spice in life...
But 2008 - I have no idea what it holds for me! I can't predict this year because there's no history... It's scary because of the uncertainty... it's like stepping into the dark in an unfamiliar house.. you're on your own, nothing to go by... so many possibilities and yet you don't know which one will work and which won't work... life seems like it's on an Improbability Drive, you don't know where you're going to land up finally!
And yet, I feel positive about it, or at least make myself believe that I do.. because you are what your thoughts are.
I feel inclined to do whatever I can to make the best of the times and not let years go passing by without a sense of fulfillment. And though I don't believe in New Year resolutions, I do believe that a fresh start at the beginning of the year can give you perspective (and here I've failed already, because the start of this year was anything but "fresh" for me!! Too much partying and then sleeping at 6 in the morning doesn't seem like such a good idea now)...
[I'm irritated though that my birthday and the new year come so close by.. this whole reminiscing and taking stock thing is too much pressure so close together in the year!]
And I do know that I want to do the following things for sure this year. And hopefully this published post will remind me of my own promises and kick me into action whenever I forget.
- Learn another new language, maybe Spanish this time, so that I can choose whichever option I want when calling customer service!
- Get back to singing (outside the bathroom)... oh yes, though none of you will fortunately be subjected to this torture, I plan to get back to singing... so many hours shall be spent re-discovering Sa Re Ga Ma Pa.
- Graduate from the bunny slope and be able to ski at the next level.
- Stop wearing shades of black, grey, white and brown most of the time (and for all you men out there, different shades of white DO exist!!)
- Give more time to myself instead of my job, laptop and sleep.
- Learn how to say no (because saying no to someone you don't like/isn't your friend doesn't count as much as saying no to someone you do like/is your friend)
- Travel to another new country.. ok now this is stretching it. But then maybe not.
- Somehow, just somehow be able to convey to my family how much I love them and am grateful for all they've done and sacrificed for me. And always be there for them the way they've been there for me.
- Stop crying in every emotional scene I see in a movie (recently I cried myself silly watching Taare Zameen Par - brilliant movie though!!)
Ok, I think I need to stop before I spill over to 2009!!
So, on this positive note, I'm ready to take on what 2008 holds for me, and hopefully find what I've been searching for!
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten...
-- Natasha Bedingfield
Thursday, July 19, 2007
When I grow up...
I think I’ve mentioned before that I have a family here in the US whom I’ve been staying with these past couple of months… I have 2 cousins here, and yesterday I was having this “family bonding session” with the kids when we started talking about what they wanted to do when they grow up… Given that I am already “grown up” I wasn’t allowed to add my own dreams to the conversation, so I sat there and listened to them, all starry-eyed and full of ideas as they were, and sat back and thought about what it was like when you still had many options that you could choose from! And decided that if the kids won't listen to my dreams, you will! :))
I think my very first memories were of wanting to become a police officer! I think my parents were discussing Kiran Bedi one evening… I was so taken up by the whole idea of fighting for justice against the wrong-doers and the woman power thing that I was all in favour of becoming one hell of a dynamic police officer, fighting my way through corruption and crime and helping turn around the world, or atleast the country, or atleast my state… hehehehe, ofcourse then I grew up and realized what a distant dream this was.. and I know my parents breathed a sigh of relief…
Then later, I wanted to give my life to fighting for the environment such as the likes of Medha Patkar, working for the cause of saving this earth! My school was responsible for putting this idea into my head, no one else. They encouraged us to stop using plastic bags, taught us about recycling and biodegradable versus non-biodegradable waste, showed us how to make compost pits (many a Sunday afternoons were spent hauling wheelbarrows full of cow dung from the dairy farm near our campus and food waste from the dining hall!!) and made us aware of the possible repercussions of having MNCs take over all our indigenous industries. Oh yeah, that’s my school. And that’s way back in the 90s, when it wasn’t a “fad” to do this! And no it wasn’t brainwashing either, they didn’t force us to boycott Pepsi and Coke - we just did so, you know, being young and all adrenalin-charged like! (P.S: No we weren’t involved in the vandalizing of KFC in Bangalore, in case you were wondering)… Anyways, I still remember one time I ordered Thums Up at a restaurant while I gave my family a lecture about how Coke/Pepsi should be thrown out of the country, when my Dad politely pointed out to me that Thums Up was a Coke company product, smugly smiling as he turned the bottle so I could see that indeed it was! In time of course I realized there’s no money in fighting for the environment, so I left it at that. However, to do this dream justice, I still to this day avoid using plastic bags, don’t use the A/C so I don’t add to the ozone layer depletion directly, and always recycle whatever I can.
And the last and possibly the most passionate dream I had, and one I still think of pursuing sometime in my life, was of becoming a dancer… a full-fledged dancer in a troupe or individually, doing stages shows, going around the world performing, creating and then basking in the audience applause… dancing till it hurts, dancing till it becomes enough to live on, dancing till I reach nirvana (reference to the Sufi style of meditation)… And its this one that I can’t let go of, its this one that I truly regret not having pursued, its this one dream that nags at me every time I meet someone who has had the guts to follow their heart and be true to themselves…
So, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up?
I think my very first memories were of wanting to become a police officer! I think my parents were discussing Kiran Bedi one evening… I was so taken up by the whole idea of fighting for justice against the wrong-doers and the woman power thing that I was all in favour of becoming one hell of a dynamic police officer, fighting my way through corruption and crime and helping turn around the world, or atleast the country, or atleast my state… hehehehe, ofcourse then I grew up and realized what a distant dream this was.. and I know my parents breathed a sigh of relief…
Then later, I wanted to give my life to fighting for the environment such as the likes of Medha Patkar, working for the cause of saving this earth! My school was responsible for putting this idea into my head, no one else. They encouraged us to stop using plastic bags, taught us about recycling and biodegradable versus non-biodegradable waste, showed us how to make compost pits (many a Sunday afternoons were spent hauling wheelbarrows full of cow dung from the dairy farm near our campus and food waste from the dining hall!!) and made us aware of the possible repercussions of having MNCs take over all our indigenous industries. Oh yeah, that’s my school. And that’s way back in the 90s, when it wasn’t a “fad” to do this! And no it wasn’t brainwashing either, they didn’t force us to boycott Pepsi and Coke - we just did so, you know, being young and all adrenalin-charged like! (P.S: No we weren’t involved in the vandalizing of KFC in Bangalore, in case you were wondering)… Anyways, I still remember one time I ordered Thums Up at a restaurant while I gave my family a lecture about how Coke/Pepsi should be thrown out of the country, when my Dad politely pointed out to me that Thums Up was a Coke company product, smugly smiling as he turned the bottle so I could see that indeed it was! In time of course I realized there’s no money in fighting for the environment, so I left it at that. However, to do this dream justice, I still to this day avoid using plastic bags, don’t use the A/C so I don’t add to the ozone layer depletion directly, and always recycle whatever I can.
And the last and possibly the most passionate dream I had, and one I still think of pursuing sometime in my life, was of becoming a dancer… a full-fledged dancer in a troupe or individually, doing stages shows, going around the world performing, creating and then basking in the audience applause… dancing till it hurts, dancing till it becomes enough to live on, dancing till I reach nirvana (reference to the Sufi style of meditation)… And its this one that I can’t let go of, its this one that I truly regret not having pursued, its this one dream that nags at me every time I meet someone who has had the guts to follow their heart and be true to themselves…
So, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up?
Monday, April 30, 2007
A little girl, still
There are some things in this world that make me wide-eyed with wonder and excited like a 3 yr old kid... and 3-D movies, Little Mermaid and Killer Whales top the list right now!
I've just got back from a vacation (as if I'm not already on one!) in Florida, where I spent the past 4 days basking in the sun, sitting by the poolside listening to Jazz music, sipping strawberry daquiries which were unknowingly spiked with Vodka, relaxing in the jacuzzi in our suite at this great luxury resort (courtesy my v. rich aunt!) and walking a few miles (!) inside the ever-so-famous theme parks, getting from one ride or show to another...
And I re-discovered the little girl in me... This would be my 3rd time at Disney.. I had been there once before when I really was a little girl, and then once in Paris exactly 2 yrs back (how time flies!).. but I realised that every time I watched the fairytale characters of Little Mermaid, Snow White and Cindrella, and more importantly their v. handsome 'Charming Princes', it gets me as excited and goose-bumpy as when I was a kid and really believed in the 'one day my prince charming will come and we'll live happily ever after' story! Unfortunately, I can't say I've wisened up now..! I still get all starry-eyed when I see these characters, like I did at the Disney Parade.. hehehe.. Mr. Walt Disney really knows how to sell dreams!
The Killer Whale show at Seaworld really had me too.. the interesting thing is that when I was a kid, I had visited the same Seaworld and watched the famous 'Shamu' show.. I remembered there was a really tall glass enclosure inside in which the whales swam, and the whales themselves were gigantic... I realised this time though, that my memory was relative to my size!! The "really tall" glass enclosure turned out to be actually just a little more than 4 feet in height, and the whales looked less gigantic and more realistic this time.. I was amused at the fact that I remembered it just like I had seen it.. BIG! But I've got to say that dolphins and these killer whales never fail to amaze me.. They are not only beautiful, but also so intelligent! Not just because they can be tamed or trained, but because they look like they have real feelings and really understand what they're doing! I thought only dogs were like that!
Oh and not to forget the 3-D movie we saw... It was a short 20 mins movie called "Honey I shrunk the audience".. a spoof on the movie "Honey I shrunk the kids".. and I was just totally amazed at the effect 3-D has on the movie-watching experience! When nothing happened for the first 5 mins, I was like what the hell, this 3-D thing is no great shakes.. and then suddenly out of the blue, the "rocket" on screen burst into flames and it was amazing how we all thought the shrapnel was coming straight at us and we ducked instinctively! And then they showed that there were rats in the audience, and we acutally felt creepy crawly things against our legs and shoulders! Totally had us freaked out and jumping out of our seats! I'm sure some people may have watched movies in 3-D before, but this was my first time, and I couldn't help but marvel at it like a child!
So yes, if you think this post has me gushing like a kid at the marvels that sell dreams all over the world, you're right.. I dont want to be a logical, rational adult in these moments.. I want to let go and be a child again, and wonder!!
I've just got back from a vacation (as if I'm not already on one!) in Florida, where I spent the past 4 days basking in the sun, sitting by the poolside listening to Jazz music, sipping strawberry daquiries which were unknowingly spiked with Vodka, relaxing in the jacuzzi in our suite at this great luxury resort (courtesy my v. rich aunt!) and walking a few miles (!) inside the ever-so-famous theme parks, getting from one ride or show to another...
And I re-discovered the little girl in me... This would be my 3rd time at Disney.. I had been there once before when I really was a little girl, and then once in Paris exactly 2 yrs back (how time flies!).. but I realised that every time I watched the fairytale characters of Little Mermaid, Snow White and Cindrella, and more importantly their v. handsome 'Charming Princes', it gets me as excited and goose-bumpy as when I was a kid and really believed in the 'one day my prince charming will come and we'll live happily ever after' story! Unfortunately, I can't say I've wisened up now..! I still get all starry-eyed when I see these characters, like I did at the Disney Parade.. hehehe.. Mr. Walt Disney really knows how to sell dreams!
The Killer Whale show at Seaworld really had me too.. the interesting thing is that when I was a kid, I had visited the same Seaworld and watched the famous 'Shamu' show.. I remembered there was a really tall glass enclosure inside in which the whales swam, and the whales themselves were gigantic... I realised this time though, that my memory was relative to my size!! The "really tall" glass enclosure turned out to be actually just a little more than 4 feet in height, and the whales looked less gigantic and more realistic this time.. I was amused at the fact that I remembered it just like I had seen it.. BIG! But I've got to say that dolphins and these killer whales never fail to amaze me.. They are not only beautiful, but also so intelligent! Not just because they can be tamed or trained, but because they look like they have real feelings and really understand what they're doing! I thought only dogs were like that!
Oh and not to forget the 3-D movie we saw... It was a short 20 mins movie called "Honey I shrunk the audience".. a spoof on the movie "Honey I shrunk the kids".. and I was just totally amazed at the effect 3-D has on the movie-watching experience! When nothing happened for the first 5 mins, I was like what the hell, this 3-D thing is no great shakes.. and then suddenly out of the blue, the "rocket" on screen burst into flames and it was amazing how we all thought the shrapnel was coming straight at us and we ducked instinctively! And then they showed that there were rats in the audience, and we acutally felt creepy crawly things against our legs and shoulders! Totally had us freaked out and jumping out of our seats! I'm sure some people may have watched movies in 3-D before, but this was my first time, and I couldn't help but marvel at it like a child!
So yes, if you think this post has me gushing like a kid at the marvels that sell dreams all over the world, you're right.. I dont want to be a logical, rational adult in these moments.. I want to let go and be a child again, and wonder!!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
I've often wondered about...
Whether Faith is weakness.. whether believing in a higher power who guides you through life is a matter of low self-esteem or there really is something to back it up... I wonder about this because I believe I have real faith... I'm not fatalistic, but I have faith in the saying that whatever happens happens for the good.. I have faith in my Guru... no, he's not performed 'miracles' like making things appear from thin air or making things disappear in one touch.. but I have faith, and tremendous amount of it, in the fact that he's taking care of me... and I have faith that whatever is happening in my life, I can't see the broader picture, but there is someone up there (or anywhere for that matter) who can.. he sees the bigger picture... and so the things that you can explain, the things that you can't control, you just leave it up to faith.. you do what you have to do, and leave the rest upto your faith that things will get better, and that there is a (solid) reason why something happens to you...
I have nothing to prove that faith, except that I believe in it.. and have believed in it for so long that I can't remember life without that faith... So then I ponder, is it my weakness that I want to double-check my life constantly with some 'higher power', or is it that such a higher power really exists.. I'm not advocating that someone on earth is God, I'm not propounding that one should blindly believe in what is not apparent... but then when one is educated, has a fairly reasonable 'thinking mind' and then one believes in concepts such as faith, God, guidance - then it can't just be lack of faith in oneself... afterall, 'God' isn't a person who you can talk to, God is an experience.. you experience the presence of a higher power through your life, if you watch close enough...
I'm wondering about all this because there are times in my life when I sit back and wonder about why certain things happened, why my life has been so tough and yet there has always been a silver-lining with every problem that came up... and my faith is reinforced after this...
But, I still have nothing to prove it..
I have nothing to prove that faith, except that I believe in it.. and have believed in it for so long that I can't remember life without that faith... So then I ponder, is it my weakness that I want to double-check my life constantly with some 'higher power', or is it that such a higher power really exists.. I'm not advocating that someone on earth is God, I'm not propounding that one should blindly believe in what is not apparent... but then when one is educated, has a fairly reasonable 'thinking mind' and then one believes in concepts such as faith, God, guidance - then it can't just be lack of faith in oneself... afterall, 'God' isn't a person who you can talk to, God is an experience.. you experience the presence of a higher power through your life, if you watch close enough...
I'm wondering about all this because there are times in my life when I sit back and wonder about why certain things happened, why my life has been so tough and yet there has always been a silver-lining with every problem that came up... and my faith is reinforced after this...
But, I still have nothing to prove it..
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Life is...
Possibilities we didn't explore
Opportunities we didn't take
Moments we didn't pause
Promises we didn't make
Truths we didn't dare
Lies we didn't share
People who didn't care
Dreams that were
Dreams that weren't
Searching
Defining
Moving ahead
Stepping back
.... And a fine lazy afternoon, listening to Jazz, reminiscing, looking forward, taking a deep breath...
And just being...
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
I'd like to
Fall in love...
Its been very long. a few years maybe. since I felt that way... this morning I've been in a great mood, been humming a nice song, been smiling more than usual, been more confident that I can handle life, been more relaxed and trying not to let some things happening in my life unfaze me, eager to meet the next turn in my life, eager to meet someone to share the joy with!
I'm crazy... by evening the cynic in me will let me know that I was just dreaming this morning, and bring me back to reality, but for the moment, I'd like to fall in love.. I'd like to have a smile on my face thinking about something 'he' said (not necessarily flattery or praise of me, I am not a fool - anymore)... I'd like for us to watch a DVD at home, sitting with our arms around each other, sharing a laugh or two, playing with my hair, cribbing about how silly girls are when they get emotional in a movie and still wiping my tears when I cry at the end (which I inevitably will, no matter which movie it is!)... I'd like to take a walk, not hand in hand, but still very much together..
And the funny thing is that almost never do you get these thngs in a real relationship!! So that's why I dont want one! Its just a feeling thats in your head, the romance, the love etc etc.. when a real human being enters the picture, things are not so rosy.. which is why I'd rather be single.. but still be in love.. (how does that make sense?!!)
The thing about saying 'I'd like to' have something is that u don't need it, u just would like to have it.. if its not there, nothing is missing.. but if it is there, then its just another happy aspect to your life.. what is nice about 'growing up' (and getting rid of the idea of 'puppy love', gifts and valentines) is that you don't need someone to complete you, u're already content and u'd like to share the joy with someone, anyone, who understands why u're smiling... spread the joy u feel inside for being alive, for being blessed with so many things, for being who you are and having accepted yourself like that, for having lost weight and looking good.. hehehe.. so many reasons to smile every day, and u'd like to have someone who would 'listen to that smile' because it says so many things!!
By the time I've published this post, I'd have already gotten over my day dream, for sure.. a momentary lapse in control and u're thinking about doing ur own version of one of those romantic ads u see on tv, but I'll let myself be foolish for just one moment... imagine the walking-on-air feeling, the radiant smile and some handsome hunk too good to be true!! :-))
Hehehe... funnily enough, I'm just so happy today (for no particular reason, let me remind you) that I'd let myself think I'm Ms. Universe today, about to meet the man of my dreams!!!
(God forbid a guy really 'enters the scene' and ruins the perfect picture!! Hehehee..)
Its been very long. a few years maybe. since I felt that way... this morning I've been in a great mood, been humming a nice song, been smiling more than usual, been more confident that I can handle life, been more relaxed and trying not to let some things happening in my life unfaze me, eager to meet the next turn in my life, eager to meet someone to share the joy with!
I'm crazy... by evening the cynic in me will let me know that I was just dreaming this morning, and bring me back to reality, but for the moment, I'd like to fall in love.. I'd like to have a smile on my face thinking about something 'he' said (not necessarily flattery or praise of me, I am not a fool - anymore)... I'd like for us to watch a DVD at home, sitting with our arms around each other, sharing a laugh or two, playing with my hair, cribbing about how silly girls are when they get emotional in a movie and still wiping my tears when I cry at the end (which I inevitably will, no matter which movie it is!)... I'd like to take a walk, not hand in hand, but still very much together..
And the funny thing is that almost never do you get these thngs in a real relationship!! So that's why I dont want one! Its just a feeling thats in your head, the romance, the love etc etc.. when a real human being enters the picture, things are not so rosy.. which is why I'd rather be single.. but still be in love.. (how does that make sense?!!)
The thing about saying 'I'd like to' have something is that u don't need it, u just would like to have it.. if its not there, nothing is missing.. but if it is there, then its just another happy aspect to your life.. what is nice about 'growing up' (and getting rid of the idea of 'puppy love', gifts and valentines) is that you don't need someone to complete you, u're already content and u'd like to share the joy with someone, anyone, who understands why u're smiling... spread the joy u feel inside for being alive, for being blessed with so many things, for being who you are and having accepted yourself like that, for having lost weight and looking good.. hehehe.. so many reasons to smile every day, and u'd like to have someone who would 'listen to that smile' because it says so many things!!
By the time I've published this post, I'd have already gotten over my day dream, for sure.. a momentary lapse in control and u're thinking about doing ur own version of one of those romantic ads u see on tv, but I'll let myself be foolish for just one moment... imagine the walking-on-air feeling, the radiant smile and some handsome hunk too good to be true!! :-))
Hehehe... funnily enough, I'm just so happy today (for no particular reason, let me remind you) that I'd let myself think I'm Ms. Universe today, about to meet the man of my dreams!!!
(God forbid a guy really 'enters the scene' and ruins the perfect picture!! Hehehee..)
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